My pussy is not your playground.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
