I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
