did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize