That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
