see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
