his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
