I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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