like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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