I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
