fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
