Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms