Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace. http://tfl.nu/mzqe
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)

  (678): View more from Georgia

  cunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile... (404): In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;) (678): cunt. http://tfl.nu/sbha
  Replies (58) Good night (3006) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest. http://tfl.nu/jvc2
  Replies (68) Good night (3321) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6
  Replies (8) Good night (1484) Bad night (4192)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me http://tfl.nu/id49
  Replies (14) Good night (4371) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4674) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz
  Replies (11) Good night (5404) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3357) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9
  Replies (9) Good night (2122) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean... http://tfl.nu/ugwg
  Replies (14) Good night (660) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1822) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx
  Replies (13) Good night (1309) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That is the exact response I was looking for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef (240): Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst! (202): That is the exact response I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/qkl0
  Replies (8) Good night (1643) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

  (714): View more from California

  I think mark twain said that originally

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut (714): I think mark twain said that originally http://tfl.nu/28hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1621) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink. http://tfl.nu/8b21
  Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (693)

Randomize