So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Rumble strips road head = magical
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.