Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk

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  (404): Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk http://tfl.nu/cgrv
  Replies (5) Good night (2459) Bad night (646)
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  (760): View more from California

  dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.

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  (760): dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell. http://tfl.nu/ywtf
  Replies (12) Good night (3417) Bad night (689)
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  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4095) Bad night (738)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.

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  (318): Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/ei4e
  Replies (12) Good night (3867) Bad night (601)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.

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  (518): i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke. http://tfl.nu/bbix
  Replies (24) Good night (4163) Bad night (752)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.

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  (215): just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break. http://tfl.nu/9me9
  Replies (17) Good night (4189) Bad night (822)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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  (720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365
  Replies (18) Good night (6322) Bad night (1023)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you

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  (248): i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you http://tfl.nu/cx5a
  Replies (11) Good night (6079) Bad night (991)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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  (512): I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect. http://tfl.nu/coze
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (1042)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.

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  (757): It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog. http://tfl.nu/clzo
  Replies (3) Good night (1648) Bad night (546)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

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  (931): THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING http://tfl.nu/7m50
  Replies (29) Good night (4039) Bad night (958)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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  (727): We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity. http://tfl.nu/gy6t
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (186)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.

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  (574): Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet. http://tfl.nu/biog
  Replies (3) Good night (236) Bad night (562)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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  (239): THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW http://tfl.nu/gnot
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (190)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.

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  (307): I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex. http://tfl.nu/b6dd
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (206)

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