Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
