drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?