i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let's get the cat blown out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
