I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
