Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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