fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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