just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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