shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she peed on how many people?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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