Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
