didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
