Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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