i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
