i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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