guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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