You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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