how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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