what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
