strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
