I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
