that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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