We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
