You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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