I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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