yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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