glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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