Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
