hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm too high and old for this...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
