In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
