I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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