I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
