No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
