i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
