Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Duck Duck Cougar?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
