i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
