Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
