Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
