Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
