Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
