No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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