dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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