i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
