I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Mom said you looked used
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
