i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
