this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was like eating out sand paper
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
