just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
