would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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