You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
